writing in the dark

i write in the dark these days. i seen a bloodsucker in my dreams reading a kalvin butts article while taking a shit on the shitter too, just thought i'd let you know. my own toilet went haywire this afternoon just before i took a humongous leak and crawled my narrow ass back in the old broken bed. it must suck being a toilet, everybody shits on you, even people who just come over to visit. but lets not digress shall we. the reason i'm really here is to rid myself of the intrinsically insane traits that keep my huddled around a beer these nights . . . i'm not complaining. i like beer. i like to huge a nice cold one quite often. i just wish i didn't have those quite often wierd dreams. you know the ones: the pregnant chick with your baby, and you swore you didn't even have sex with her, but she's having your baby anyway, and when the baby comes, the poor bastard has blond hair-imagine a black kid with blond-hair. . . damn-needless to say in this dream i was pissed, especially taking into consideration my stash of poor hasn't even been burned yet and now i got to raise a baby, by a chick that i didn't even sleep with, and she swears from the halls of montazuma that the little shit flying crying bastard is yours! thank god i awoke. that's when i noticed the toilet going haywire and someone was knocking at my door. somewhere deep inside i hoped it wasn't that damn baby come slap out of my dream to take childsupport out my ass holding me at gunpoint. all i could think was wee! thank god it was just my nieghbor asking for ride somewhere . . . she had her baby girl with her and i thought "damn this little girl is cute" thank god i don't have to pay for one of these little buggers. . .