on the pun trail

i've been looking for it for years now. the pun. it started in kindergarden when isha sat next to me and i noticed i made her vomite. i was one of those sickly little pitiful screwballs who peed his pants and crapped in underwear on the yellow bus as soon as the bell rang. free lunch, welfare, cheap sneakers, cheap everything, you name it i had it. good thing the principals paddle made me keep up the good work or who knows? i might have made an ass of myself and become the freakin president of the aspen wolverine club. now i feel fantastic knowing that the pun is always lurking because i got this security job. hell, all i do is watch pun all day long. sometimes it feels like i get paid to watch pun. anyways, if this gay guy didn't fix my lunch everyday i might have quick a long time ago or at least left my wife, and shit i'm not even married. oh screw it. i've lost all my damn sense thinking of this poor pun world and all the whores and dikes that made me feel like romeo sabastin bach over the past 30 years. oh boy the joys of lesbian love. thanks isha for vomiting on me and causing me to hate regular girls. now i can sleep better at night knowing that i can get paid to watch pun, purchase it at the dandy corner insurection, check the back of creative loafing, hit up the strip joints, or fall asleep drunk listening to the buddha chant religious war songs in my eardrum at night. . .